I kept having conversations with people this week (not random people, but not my best friends nor simply acquaintances) that were full of negativity and left me feeling frustrated and awful. I knew I wanted to write a post about it- but it literally would have been just me bitching about certain people with absolutely no direction or point and it would have been a negative, frustrating, and consequently, an awful post- and that’s just no fun for anyone..
However, I have finally been able to bring it all full circle. Bear with me =)
Back to earlier this week:
We will refer to these people as person#1 and person#2.
Wednesday, I worked out early in the morning for the first time
ever this year and was feeling so great and confident in myself! I even went so far as to bring my breakfast with me (recipe coming soon!) because I knew I’d be miserably starving after working out for 2+ hours before class. As I’m waiting for lecture to start, person#1 walks in the room and says: “ew! what are you eating!?” and looked at my delicious bowl of glorious, heavenly oats as if I had scraped dog shit off my shoe and dumped it into a bowl and was shoveling it into my mouth.
“Breakfast!” I replied.
“Yeah, but what IS it?” (unnecessary look of disgust continues)
“Quick oats…it’s like oatmeal.” (I kept it simple. I wasn’t going to explain that there was peanut butter, almonds, granola, raspberries, and a banana in there, too)
“oh. Well why are you eating it now?” (snotty as 10 year old with a bad attitude)
(In hindsight, my response should have been “stop asking questions and go eat that dog shit off the sidewalk that you think I’m eating.” Unfortunately, it was not.)
“Because I worked out before class and I’m starving.”
“Why would you even do that? Who works out before class?”
“I’m training for a triathlon and I actually really enjoyed working out this morning.”
I’m actually more upset about it now than I was when it was happening.
Later that same day, person#2 and I engage in a conversation via text.
I don’t even remember how it all started but person#2 asked me a question and I said:
“I don’t know, I haven’t even swam yet today.” (this response made sense in relevance to whatever the question was.)
“See I told you you shouldn’t have signed up for that triathlon. You’re not even training!”
“I’m not worried about it. Stop trying to burst my bubble because you’re jealous you didn’t sign up. =) “
And that was that.
At this point, I was so fed up with the negativity that was surrounding my day.
What was with these people, or anyone for that matter, trying to bring me down?
I could go on for days and days explaining why they probably actually were trying to bring me down, but it’s not worth it, because quite frankly, I don’t care.
I don’t care what they’re feeling, whether it’s inferior or jealous or lazy or inadequate.
I don’t go around trying to bring other people down. Ever.
If someone I knew was doing a triathlon, OR ANYTHING FOR THAT MATTER, and it was something that was bringing them happiness or joy,
I would applaud them and encourage them along their journey. EVEN if it was something that I wanted to do.
Negativity is so ugly and disheartening.
I felt so shitty after both of those conversations, and like I said, I wanted to come on here and rant about them both, but that would not have been productive.
I was scrolling through pictures today, particularly pictures of Stephen and I for the post I posted earlier.
And it had never been apparent to me before, and I don’t know why, but check these pictures out:
(this honestly was not inspired by Yessenia’s post. We just read each other’s minds like that 😉 )
April 2011, Cubs Game
July 2011, Sydney, Australia
It’s subtle, but can you see the difference?
I’m not showing this as a depiction of my weight loss journey, because to be honest- I’m not done. I’m nowhere close to where I want to be as far as how I look and how far I can run or how much I can lift. January 2011 is when Mayra, Yessenia, and I decided we would run the Illinois Marathon Relay and so the training and running began. Sometime in March is when I was really increasing my distances and I was running 10 miles or a little more on my long runs. For me, this was a HUGE deal.
Naturally,I started to lose weight. My body has always naturally craved healthy, whole foods, but running for distance on a regular basis increased the amount and frequency in which I was consuming those foods for fuel. Morning runs were happening on a regular basis on the weekends, and this is where I think the biggest difference happened:
Stephen and I, especially the summer we met, could have been found more often than not, sitting around a table in our friend’s garage drinking beer, playing beer pong, mixing drinks, and heading to White Castle in the wee hours of the night. Only to spend the next morning feeling awful with a hangover and because our bodies were trying to digest whatever the hell White Castle is actually made of.
Last summer, when we were still finding out a lot about each other and although I wasn’t actually a “runner” and wasn’t running for distance or training for races, I knew that running (and fitness in general) was something that I loved, Stephen told me he would never, ever run or train for a race. 9 months later:
We had a baby. hahah just kidding!!!!!!!
Our first 5k!!
The Marathon Relay!! He didn’t run, but he was the best chauffeur & our team’s biggest fan out there!!! Such a fun day!
He also never took our first 5k shirt off and is still wearing it to this day 😉 haha
Our 2nd 5k!!!! Mother’s Day, 2011. (Pink for Breast Cancer! Don’t hate.)
And in a few short weeks, he will be my partner in crime for our first Sprint Triathlon.
We now rarely go out and binge drink and eat ambiguous fast food products in the middle of the night. If we do get drinks, it’s usually a few beers or a cocktail or two and we call it a night. We’re usually home before midnight and fast asleep by the wee hours of the morning. I’m not home during the week, but we always talk about our runs: how it went, how far, how long it took, etc. He calls me at 5:45am on the mornings he knows that I want to get to the gym early. He asks me how my lifting went. I do the same.
What’s the point to me telling you this our little love story?
I am almost 22 years old and 248 days away from being a college graduate (!!!!!!!!!) and am still trying to figure out who to surround myself with, but I think I am finally on to something.
Stephen and I have had somewhat of a lifestyle change. We drink less, run and sweat more, and we do it together and love it. Mayra, Yessenia and I also share our running woes all the time (and started this blog together!!!) to share and celebrate our lifestyle choice as far as health and fitness goes.
My other half/best friend/sister who’s not my sister, Megan, is so supportive. We have yet to run together and haven’t worked out together in quite some time, but you know what? She has never, ever given the stink-eye to me about my workouts, my food, my lack of drinking, or anything…ever! Would she sign up for a Sprint Triathlon out of the blue with me? Who knows. If I begged her to, I’m sure she would. But she is the perfect example of the kind of people that I believe everyone should be surrounding themselves with.
Whether or not whatever I do is or is not “her thing” she knows I love it, she knows it makes me happy, and she is there for me, cheering me on either in person or via text, twitter, or facebook. If I had class with her (I wish we went to the same school, that’d be EPIC) she would never look at my breakfast with disgust and try to belittle me and my morning workouts. If I told her I still have yet to swim today she’d probably say something to me along the lines of “you’re going to kick ass anyway- don’t even worry about it!”
I don’t believe in keeping people in my life who have no interest or care about my happiness and healthy-life decisions. I have no room in my life for negativity aimed towards me. And I don’t think anyone should have to put up with that.
I encourage you all to cherish the people in your life that are positive, loving, and supportive of whatever your life may consist of (assuming it is healthy and something that you love).
I have a lot of cherishing to do =)