SAD

The weather in Chicago was absolutely horrid.
The weather in Champaign just followed suite.

I’ve always suffered from seasonal depression. And it has never been fun.
It usually holds off until late November, right around the time Thanksgiving hits.
The holidays are great but they overwhelm me for many reasons.
The cold weather and lack of sunshine really don’t help at all.

When I was in high school, I saw a therapist (for a totally unrelated issue), and after years of seeing her, it was obvious that my moods were affected heavily by the weather. Again, that was not the reason why I was there, but it was just something that she noticed. I was diagnosed with SADD, Seasonal Affective Disorder. Among the many different treatment options, I chose medication, which I will never do again, because it was awful. I was a shell of myself and was hardly recognizable to anyone that knew me in the way that I was behaving.

This past week, between the wind, rain, and gloominess, I just felt very blah.
I had two lackluster workouts this week, none of which to write home about, and have been turning to food to comfort myself, which is something that I used to do, but thought I had gotten over. Apparently not.

The only thing I have wanted to do this week is sleep and eat.
Which, for someone who is trying to run a 10k in a few weeks and NOT look like a cow for Europe is not what I should be doing.
Today, however, that is exactly what I did.

Last Thursday:
I went to my first class, because they take attendance.
I came back to my apartment at 10:45ish, made a bowl of pasta (who am I!?), ate it, and then slept from 11-3:30.
Yep. On my couch. I shut my blinds, turned on the TV, and slept.
I woke up at noon, probably because my body was asking me “what the hell are you doing?” (I haven’t napped in years) but I made myself fall back asleep.
I don’t feel guilty that I napped, in fact, it felt wonderful, but I feel like if the sun were out, I would have gone to the gym and worked out. It sounds unrelated, but I think we’re going on almost 4 days of no sun, and my mind is wearing thin.

I wrote this post a few days ago when the weather was just sucking, and it was literally taking everything in me to get out of bed, and so once I was actually out of bed, I was so exhausted from the effort that it took that I had nothing left in me to do anything for the rest of the day.

With Friday, the sun came back! And I was a new me.
Friday, I went on a 4.5 mile run, and it was fantastic.
Saturday I took the day off from running because my knees were bugging me, and today the sun is STILL out and shining, so I’m going to run some sprint intervals and I am beyond excited!

I love how happy I am when the sun is out, but on the flip side- I hate how affected I am by consecutive days of rain and gloominess.

My plan for this week is to sign up for a group fitness pass, like I have been saying since August.
I think buying it will guilt¬†encourage me into going to group fitness classes, like spin, which will change up my routine and maybe I’ll stop feeling like I’m dragging my ass to the gym all of the time and I’ll be excited to go, like I usually am.

I came home for the weekend to work, as usual, and have strategically planned when I can skip classes, so I’m not going back until tomorrow morning. After a week of not eating as good as I should, celebrating Megan’s 22nd birthday last night, and having two shit-tastic work outs last week, my eating and workouts this week are going to have to be stepped up a notch!

I guess I’ll call this round: Don’t Look or Feel Like A Moose Over the Holidays or In Europe!

I’m going to sit down and plan my workouts for the week and hopefully be back to post them later!

Happy Birthday Megan!!!! (no, my eye was not actually blue. Apparently, the red eye remover feature on cameras turns your eye blue instead of red!)

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