- I was going to run outside a bunch of times when I got home for break, remember?
It’s frighteningly windy outside. My mom has a bunch of wind chimes hanging by the back door and they are going insane… Lucky for me, I have a treadmill in the living room that is looking a lot better than going outside.
- I have been extremely thankful that the sun has been shining this week. I don’t care how cold it gets (that’s a lie, I really do care) as long as the sun is shining. There’s nothing worse than a dreary, gloomy, gray, cold day.
- This past week has brought me some interesting situations that have made me do a lot of self-reflecting. Sometimes I forget to do that. I get carried away with other things that my day brings me, and I figure since nothing out of the ordinary is really happening, and I’m getting through my days- that I must be doing everything ok, right? Well, kind of. I guess if I want to be something great, I need to start with myself, right? What does it matter if I fly to the moon if I’m not the best person I can be, right? (Actually, if I flew to the moon I would probably not care if I was an asshole for the time being.) Instead of letting situations and other people affect my mood and the quality of my day- I need to remind myself that I am in control of the way I react to situations and I have a choice to react positively or negatively. I have the choice to be happy or sad. Time passes at the same rate whether you’re happy or sad, so might as well be happy, right?
- –>I had a teacher sophomore year of high school. He wrote two books and was penning his third. He was a firm believer that you were the only person who controlled your moods and reactions to things. When he told our class this the first time- I was so frustrated. So I said: “If you piss me off, that’s my choice? No. YOU’RE THE ONE PISSING ME OFF! I’M NOT PISSING MYSELF OFF!” And he just laughed at me. (Yes, I had a mouth on me since way back when.) He laughed at me as I was just getting more and more upset. I’m not sure if I really grasped what he was saying later that year, or now as I’ve gotten older, but he was right. And I would chuckle at my younger self too if I know now what I should have known then. No one can physically get inside me and piss me off. I can choose to let them win and I can get upset, or I can just get the hell over it and and not waste my time getting upset. Am I saying that I’ll never get upset again? ARE YOU KIDDING? Someone has to punch the holes in the wall at the Noodles & Company bathroom. (what?) I’m just saying that I need to work on being more happy. Not because everything is perfect and going my way (does it ever?) but because I am choosing to be happy.
- I am ridiculously excited to cook and bake during this break. I don’t have anything really planned yet, but when I do, I will share. I’m hoping to make something before Thanksgiving and having my dad (he’s the Thanksgiving chef) love it so much that he’ll let me add it to the menu. He’s such a cook-master that it needs to be pre-approved.
- Since I have no money, X-mas presents for everyone are going to have to be homemade. I have some ideas in mind, and I’m excited to start putting those plans into action. I hope they turn out as wonderful in real life as they are in my head!
- I need money to go shopping for clothes for Europe. How hypocritical of me, right? I have no money (because I am going to Europe) but I need non-running related clothes to wear while I’m there! I’m going to be standing in front of the Eiffel Tower for perhaps the only time in my life! I want to look semi-decent! Which is where this next bullet point comes in…
- I’ve decided that I just need to do what makes me happy. The amount of pressure that I put on myself to workout is exhausting. Working out used to be my happy place. But somehow, it’s become just another thing to cross of my list, something to take up time, and something to dread- an obligation. I love working out, do not get me wrong. Sweating is the best. I just need to get back to it because of how happy it can make me feel, and not workout as a means to an end. Although I am trying to look and feel better about myself, torturing myself with lack luster workouts (vicious cycle) is not going to get me there. When I don’t feel like working out, I have shitty workouts. I have bad runs, I don’t lift as much, etc etc etc. So I bet you I’m hardly reaping any benefits. When I want to work out, I run faster and farther, and lift heavier and harder. I said this before, but I really need to start working in favor of myself instead of against myself. Does that mean I am going to compromise my long-term goals? No. Not necessarily. But I need to help myself get to a happier place in my life. Torturing myself through depriving myself of things is not going to get me there- no matter how great I look, you know?
After all, I think I feel like running today =)